There's a flag on the play....

My biggest fear as a single girl…..flags!! This may sound crazy so let me explain. I have a flag system, you know, the signs that a guy might put up that the relationship isn’t going to work.  My system goes like this; White flag-Just proceed with caution, Yellow flag-ok hunny this guy might have issues you can’t handle, and RED FLAG-lace up your best Nike’s and run girl!!!!! Well I have noticed that I am like an SEC ref when it comes to throwing the RED flag on a guy, I toss those things out left and right, and I’m outta there! While I think my system is great at weeding out the less then appealing candidates and it definitely helps protect my slightly over guarded heart, am I abusing my own system? Do I even give these guys a fighting chance? Am I going to be alone forever because of flags? (Oh and yes happily single girls can fear being alone forever).  I gave a guy a Red flag once because he liked me too much too soon! In my defense I think he was definitely a stage 5 clinger and while some girls like that, I DO NOT!  Then there’s ignoring the flags. Lord knows I am guilty of ignoring my own system from time to time.  I once wanted so badly to believe that this guy who made me smile and laugh constantly, and looking into his eyes made my heart melt, was right for me no matter how many flags I saw. It was like I somehow  didn’t notice anymore that while he was all these things to me, I just wasn’t those things to him.  I found myself so wrapped up in those eyes that I forget to notice he never took me out or even gave me the respect I deserved. Well needless to say by the time I implemented my flag system with him the damage was done, my heart was broken (a very hard thing for me to admit). I however do not completely regret this situation as it gave me many butterfly moments that I adored and well heartbreaks happen.  I am just glad I came to my senses before I allowed more time and damage to be done.  Then there are the much worse cases where girls fail to see the controlling, abusive relationships they are getting into and that’s no good. For instance, I know this is pretty well known, but NEVER ignore the way a man treats his mother! EVER! If he treats her rude you stand no chance of being treated well. Also take note if you want to go off with your girls without him…does he get ill? These are not things to be ignored ladies, these are DOUBLE RED flags! No butterfly moments to appreciate after these guys, believe me.  So while some would say throw the flags away Nicole or you will never find happiness with a man, I say I will keep my flags fears and all, because while I may fear never finding someone who passes my flag system, I am very happy knowing it keeps me from doing another one of my biggest fears….Settling!